Almost every workplace has someone who makes the day harder than it needs to be. The colleague who dominates every meeting, the manager who changes their mind daily, the peer who goes quiet then complains behind your back. Learning to work with difficult personalities at work in Singapore is not about becoming a doormat or winning every clash. It is about protecting your own energy, keeping things professional, and staying effective even when the other person is not making it easy. The good news is that most of these situations can be handled with a few steady habits, and only a small number need to be escalated further.
Start by understanding what you are actually dealing with
“Difficult” is a broad label, and it helps to be more specific before you react. The person who interrupts constantly is a different challenge from the one who quietly withholds information, and both are different from someone who is genuinely rude or hostile. Try to name the behaviour rather than the person. Instead of “she is impossible”, think “she talks over me in meetings and I lose my train of thought”. Behaviour is something you can respond to. A character verdict just leaves you stuck.
It also helps to remember that people are rarely difficult on purpose all day. Stress, unclear expectations, insecurity, or simply a very different working style can all show up as friction. A detail-obsessed teammate may feel like a nitpicker to you, while you may feel careless to them. Recognising the style difference lowers the temperature and reminds you that you do not have to take everything personally. Our guide on emotional intelligence at work goes deeper into reading these signals without getting swept up in them.
Practical ways to respond in the moment
When someone is being difficult in real time, your first job is to stay regulated. A slow breath, a short pause, and a neutral tone will serve you far better than a sharp reply you regret. A few approaches that tend to work:
- Stay curious before you get defensive. A simple “Help me understand what you are worried about” often reveals a real concern underneath the prickliness.
- Name the behaviour calmly. “I would like to finish my point, then I want to hear yours” is firm without being an attack.
- Keep it factual. Stick to what happened and what you need, not to labels about their personality.
- Put agreements in writing. For someone who changes their story, a short follow up email confirming what was decided protects everyone.
Boundaries matter just as much as words. If a colleague constantly dumps last-minute work on you or expects replies at all hours, you are allowed to say no politely and offer an alternative. Our piece on setting boundaries at work has scripts you can adapt for declining without damaging the relationship.
When the difficulty is your manager or a peer you cannot avoid
Some difficult people you can keep at arm’s length. A boss or a close teammate, you cannot. Here the aim is to manage the working relationship deliberately rather than hope it improves on its own. Learn how they like to receive information, what pressures they are under, and what genuinely matters to them, then adapt your delivery without abandoning your own standards. Learning how your boss likes to receive information is a useful starting point, and if the friction is with a colleague, aim to resolve it directly before it hardens into a grudge.
Try to keep interactions predictable and low-drama. Respond, do not react. Document decisions. Focus on the shared goal rather than on being right. Over time, a steady, reasonable presence often earns more respect than an emotional one.
When to raise it, and where to go
Most personality clashes stay in the realm of annoyance and can be managed between the two of you. But some behaviour crosses a line, and it is important not to talk yourself out of taking it seriously. Repeated bullying, threats, discrimination, or harassment are not just “difficult personalities”. If you experience or witness this, keep a factual record of what happened and when, and consider raising it with your manager or HR through the proper channel.
For workplace rights, fair treatment, and harassment concerns in Singapore, you can seek general guidance from the Ministry of Manpower (MOM) and the Tripartite Alliance for Fair and Progressive Employment Practices (TAFEP), and refer to the Employment Act for the broad framework. This article is general information rather than legal advice, so for a specific dispute it is worth speaking to HR and, where needed, a qualified lawyer. Our overview of recognising workplace harassment can help you tell ordinary friction apart from something more serious, and coping with a toxic workplace is there if the whole environment, not just one person, has become the problem.
Look after yourself along the way
Dealing with a difficult person is tiring, and it is normal to feel drained, frustrated, or anxious. Protect your off-hours, talk it through with people you trust, and keep some perspective. If the stress becomes persistent or starts affecting your sleep, mood, or health, please treat that as a signal to get support, whether through people close to you, a doctor, or a mental-health service such as those offered by IMH or an employee assistance programme if your company has one. You do not have to tough it out alone.
Working with difficult personalities is a skill, not a personality trait you are born with. Name the behaviour, stay calm, set clear boundaries, and reserve escalation for the situations that truly warrant it. Do that consistently and you will find that fewer people manage to knock you off balance, and the ones who once seemed impossible become just another part of the job you know how to handle.
Frequently Asked Questions
How do I handle a colleague who takes credit for my work? Keep a record of your contributions, share progress by email or in team updates so your work is visible, and speak up politely in the moment with something like adding what you did on that part. If it continues, raise it privately with the colleague, then your manager.
What if the difficult person is a senior or someone I report to? Focus on what you can control: clear communication, written confirmation of decisions and predictable updates. Choose your moments to raise concerns calmly and factually. If behaviour crosses into harassment or unfair treatment, use HR or the guidance of MOM and TAFEP.
How do I stay professional when someone is rude to me in a meeting? Stay calm, avoid matching their tone, and respond with the facts or a neutral line such as suggesting you discuss the point after the meeting. Speak to them privately later about the behaviour. If it is repeated, record dates and examples and tell your manager.
Is it me or are they actually difficult? It is worth checking both. Ask a trusted colleague or mentor for an honest view, and consider whether the friction is a clash of style or a pattern others notice too. Reflecting on your own part helps you respond better, whatever the answer turns out to be.
How do I work with someone who never replies or shares information? Be specific about what you need and by when, and send it in writing so there is a trail. Ask how they prefer to communicate. If the delays affect the work, copy in your manager as a team update rather than as a complaint, and keep the tone neutral.