In many Chinese families, the second day of Chinese New Year has a special name and a special purpose. It is the day married daughters go back to their parents’ home, usually with their husband and children in tow. The custom is called hui niang jia in Mandarin, which roughly means “returning to the mother’s home”, and it shapes how countless Singapore couples plan their festive visiting schedule.
This guide explains where the tradition comes from, what usually happens on the day, what to bring, and how modern couples balance two sets of parents across the first two days. As with all festive customs, practices vary from family to family, so treat this as a guide to what is commonly seen rather than a rulebook.
What Hui Niang Jia Means
In traditional Chinese family structures, a woman joined her husband’s household when she married. Her first loyalty during major festivals was expected to be to her husband’s parents, so on the first day of the new year she would stay with them, welcome guests and help with the cooking and hosting.
The second day (chu er, or “second of the first month”) then became her day to visit her own parents. In earlier times, when married daughters might live far away and see their families rarely, this was a precious and emotional reunion. Parents would look forward to seeing her, meeting grandchildren and checking that she was well treated in her new home.
Some older relatives also hold a traditional belief that a married daughter should not return to her parents’ home on the first day, as it was once thought to bring poor luck to her birth family. Many younger families no longer see it that way, but it explains why the custom is so firmly tied to the second day.
How It Plays Out in Singapore Today
In Singapore, both the first and second days of Chinese New Year are public holidays, which makes the traditional split easy to follow. A common pattern looks like this:
- Reunion dinner (eve): with the husband’s family, sometimes alternating years with the wife’s family.
- Day one: visiting the husband’s parents and his side’s senior relatives first, then making the rounds of his extended family.
- Day two: visiting the wife’s parents, often staying for lunch or dinner, and then calling on her side’s relatives.
- Day three onwards: friends, colleagues and remaining relatives, as schedules allow.
Many families are flexible. If both sets of parents live close to each other, a couple might visit both on day one and simply spend a longer, more relaxed day with the wife’s family on day two. Families where the wife is an only child, or where the parents are divorced, often build their own arrangements.
If you have a domestic helper, remember that her rest days and workload over the festive period also need planning. Our guide to your helper and Chinese New Year covers this.
A Typical Visiting Plan Compared
| Time | Traditional pattern | Common modern variation |
|---|---|---|
| Eve of CNY | Reunion dinner with husband’s family | Alternate years, or two reunion meals on the same evening |
| Day one | Husband’s parents and his relatives | Both sets of parents, with a short visit to the wife’s side |
| Day two | Wife returns to her parents with husband and children | Longer, relaxed meal at the wife’s parents’ home |
| Day three | Usually a quiet day, few visits | Friends, colleagues or rest at home |
What to Bring When Returning Home
The second day visit is about family warmth rather than formality, but a few items are customary:
- Mandarin oranges in pairs. Two oranges are presented to the parents on arrival, and they usually give two back when you leave.
- A gift for the parents. This might be a hamper, festive goodies, bird’s nest, abalone, a good bottle of wine or something you know they enjoy. Choose what suits your budget and their tastes.
- Red packets. Married couples give hongbao to unmarried younger relatives such as nieces, nephews and younger cousins. Some couples also give a red packet to their own parents as a sign of filial respect.
- A dish or goodies for the table. If lunch or dinner is a big family gathering, offering to bring a dish or a box of cookies is always appreciated.
Gifts in even numbers and in red or gold tones are generally preferred, and items associated with death or parting, such as clocks or sharp objects, are best avoided. Our guide to Chinese New Year taboos explains more of these beliefs.
Why Day Three Is Often Kept Quiet
The third day is known in some traditions as chi kou, sometimes translated as “red mouth”, a day when arguments are said to be more likely. Some families avoid visiting on this day and stay home instead. Not everyone follows this, but it is another reason why the bulk of family visiting tends to squeeze into the first two days.
The festive period continues for fifteen days, with other notable dates along the way. The seventh day, known as everyone’s birthday, is covered in our article on Ren Ri, the seventh day of Chinese New Year.
Tips for Couples Planning Day One and Day Two
Juggling two families can be the most stressful part of the season. A few habits make it smoother:
- Agree on the plan early. Talk about the schedule a few weeks ahead, not on the morning of day one.
- Be fair, and be seen to be fair. If the husband’s family gets the reunion dinner, make sure the wife’s family gets real time on day two, not a rushed half hour.
- Build in buffer time. Traffic, parking and long chats with elderly relatives always take longer than expected.
- Rotate where needed. Some couples alternate the reunion dinner each year so that both families feel included.
- Respect the elders’ expectations. Even if you would prefer a different arrangement, older parents may feel strongly about the traditional order. A gentle conversation usually works better than a sudden change.
- Plan for the children. Long days of visiting tire young kids. Pack snacks, a change of clothes and something quiet to keep them busy.
When the Wife’s Family Is Overseas
For couples where the wife’s parents live abroad, including many mainland Chinese newcomers in Singapore, the second day can feel bittersweet. Some practical ways to honour the day include:
- A video call on the morning of day two, with the children greeting their grandparents.
- Sending festive gifts or a red packet through family members or a delivery service in advance.
- Celebrating with friends from home. Many newcomers host a day-two meal with others from the same province or hometown.
- Planning a trip home in a later year, if work leave allows, so the reunion can happen in person.
Modern Views on the Custom
Some younger couples feel the traditional order favours the husband’s family, and they choose to divide time more evenly. Others keep the custom exactly as it is because it gives each family a clear, dedicated day. Neither approach is wrong. The heart of hui niang jia is simple: making sure daughters and their parents have time together during the most important family festival of the year.
If this is your first Chinese New Year as a couple, or you are bringing a partner home for the first time, a little preparation and an open conversation with both families go a long way. Arrive with oranges, greet the elders warmly, eat what you are served, and enjoy the reunion.
Further reading: Kai Gong: First Day Back at Work After Chinese New Year · Chun Lian and Fai Chun: Chinese New Year Couplets Explained